Saying goodbye to old friends

One of the things, that I find is one of the most challenging obstacles in a man's life is when he has to say goodbye forever to a friend. Now this can be death but it also can be a severe detachment from a person such as a school friend or work friend or simply put, a colleague.

One of the things that I really like to look back upon are the friendships that I shared with so many people. Some of them, were very close to me in the hardest thing is to realize is that you spent so much time and effort to make them your friends, to make them close to but in truth at one point you just leave them.

And, the strange fact is that we keep moving forward. We continue to make friendships and continue to break bonds. We as humans, have so much in common and me go through life having our own intentions, our own dreams. Me, having traveled many countries never had stable friends.as I jump from one country to another, it always seemed like the same ordeal of making and breaking friendships. I wonder if this has happened to any if you…

I studied all alone for my a levels in one of the things that I've learned from desolation is how valueless achievement is, or joy is when it isn't shared. It just hurts me when you just move on to bigger places and forget the people that were important to you, in fact very important to you once.

Perhaps, it's just me. But have you ever wondered, or took time to just look over those distant memories and photos of your child. It brings me to tears that how two people so close to each other could grow to become so distant.

We each read or separate lives, and go on in our separate ways but the memories of past friendships and experiences always remain engraved or etched in our past and in our thoughts.

So, just take some time to look back at all the things that you've done and all the people that you made in your life and all the things that you've learned from. Does it not make you wonder, why he came so distant from?

Thoughts of my own about life and happiness

You know, there are times when you actually take some time to think about the things that you've done in life and reflect on the decisions that you have made over your lifetime. Often when I do something like that it always reminds me of a poem called the Road not taken by Robert Frost and when I do that it just reminds me of that feeling of indecision that you have when you first make a decision.

That sense of uncertainty clouds your decisions but we try to look down as far as we can to the outcome of the decisions the greatest possible extent of our abilities. But, the truth is we don't really know what is good for us and that in itself makes prediction futile effort because you really cannot control the future and its meanly external influences that govern the final outcome.

it reminds me of a hadeeth, in which essentially it is said that what we think is good for us may actually be bad for us and we think is bad for us may be good for us and truth that is the whole mystery of life because as Robert Frost craftily mentioned in his home way leads on to way and you cannot look far enough to actually comprehend the holistic nature of your decision and how it affects the world as a whole.

At times you'd like to think, that your decisions are for the best and in truth we really don't know what it's for the best. A person who got a full scholarship to perhaps from the best universities in the world may die in a plane crash on his way to the country that he wants to study in.

So in truth what do we actually understand about life, comes back to an old saying “Que Sera, Sera…The Future’s Not Ours To See”.

And that the beauty of life. It's a mixture of uncertainty, mystery and expectation we try to achieve what we think will actually make us happy. Like Benjamin Franklin said “everyone has a right to the pursuit of happiness”.

So, as Robert Frost learned through his exploration of life he just turned three words from studying it so deeply so many times and with such great care as well. He just turned three words, and he could summarize everything he had learned about life in just three words “It goes on”.

Perhaps, the world we are in is beyond our comprehension. And sometimes I like to think of it as man creating an inanimate object that the chair or a wooden frame, we have created will never be able to understand or comprehend the complexity that we are or what we do. Simply put, we are something incomprehensible, simply because we have made it incomprehensible. It is an inanimate object, that has no mind and has no soul.

Similarly, we are created and therefore we really do not have the ability to understand or comprehend created us.

And therefore continue to ponder about life, and how meaningless rank is in life, and how pointless decisions are in life, and most importantly how pointless life would be if there were no afterlife is there really was no reckoning for what we did. I mean, if we are given wealth, and knowledge and if we do not choose to use these gifts for the benefit of our communities, then what purpose does either knowledge or wealth serve if we are not even using it so that we can become people were better respected and more importantly be remembered in society.

Because, once we pass away is simply our actions that are remembered: what we did for others.

in truth, life in itself seems like it just seems to go on and on and on just like a mirage.all the benefits, all the fame, although well and all the nobility and rank seems so pointless, because in truth if we pursue what we think to be or what we believe to be something that will bring us happiness because essentially happiness is what we want. Then, we will be truly disappointed because it is the ability to smile knowing that you are not beholden to anyone or anything that gives you two have been.

Mrs. Debose, from “To kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee, understood that but she could never understand that there is no difference between a black man and a white man. But she understood, that as long as she was addicted to morphine, she would never be able to die in peace.

The racist, old and senile woman could understand that - and we all the way in the 21st century still pursue what we believe, is happiness, when it is simply a Pandora's box. I do not condone loving wealth, or rank, or fame, or even nobility for that matter. What I simply dislike is when people have simply too much money or wealth or fame or mobility to know what to do with and that is when they start abusing it.

Lets Talk About It

His mastery of elocution allowed him to get away with the fact that he did not answer the question. The answer he gave was tangential to the topic.

He used simply colloquial language, the reason being he wanted to be clear about what he wanted to say, so that everyone could understand what he had to say and interpret the message in their own light.

His opponent however, being from a wealthy family was grandiloquent to say the least. This as a result put off the majority of the listeners and helped the first candidate win the election.

In his acceptance speech, he was laconic, unable to express the joy of winning. He did not even have a policy planned out properly, yet his expressions were what had got him there.

And that is the fatal flaw of democracy. The majority of people are easily swayed, and the candidates are not scrutinized to the maximum possible extent.

Pontifical, it may be, but what the noble house’s candidate had to say had actual meaning. He wanted to expand the water-way so that both the southern and western territories would have access to clean water and also an important trade route would be established that would in theory lead to great prosperity for the region. However, what he had to say was also verbose, and lost the attention of the majority.

Ineffable was his sadness, having so many good intentions and wishes, he was unable to convey what he most ardently wanted: peace and prosperity. Whereas, the other candidate resorted to circumlocution; always rambling on about the greatness of the nation and what he would do to beautify the region, having total disregard for the issues that actually mattered.

None the less, the famed system of democracy, led to another candidate that won through demagogy, but in honest truth lacked the ability to carry on the mantle of the Kage.

Some may view this as an anecdote of how the poor won over the rich, but in truth it was a defeat of common sense.

The Death Penalty

Often the jurisprudence behind the death sentence is question. However, I believe that if the execution is held behind closed walls, the very purpose of the death penalty is undermined.

He made a prudent decision when he grounded both his children. After adjudicating the issue at hand between the two sibling, be decided that it was both Zara and Ahmed’s fault.

Adjudicate is the hear both sides and then decide, and adjudge is when you judge based solely upon law.

Speech

His speech although laconic, was exceedingly powerful; what he did not use words to express he used his facial expression and tone to create a heavy atmosphere.

The effect of his speech would have lingered for longer if it were not for the brusque interruption of his rival, who claimed that his complete speech was a lie, and that the promises he had made were mere words. The ensuing reaction of the crowd that was sheer discontent at the rival; their logic being that if he had something to say, then he could have formally addressed the crowd. To his his goal of creating a schism in the leading elite, he had failed.

The Chairperson’s decision was final. He believed that the speech was extraordinary and had profound meaning to it; it carried the essence of the organization and therefore, could not be written off as a mere lie. His concise address to the crowd and the two candidates was well received by all except the abrasive rival.

The rival was now in a state of complete shock. He had planned to conspire against the non-profit organization and now, his plans were in ruins. The incisive chairperson could understand the rival’s hunger for power and dominance, and that in itself was warning enough not to make him the successor of the organisation.

Dreams and Consequences and Prayers

My expectations of myself always seem to he so high. Not only do I want to become the leader of my country, but to invent nuclear fusion, change the education system and make a new way of ruling called meritocracy: a fusion of the good parts of both autocratic and democratic rule.

But, sometimes I wonder about, whether dream so high will ever lead to what I truly want: happiness. Having a family, enjoying the time you spend with you wife and children, taking care of your parents seems to please most people and it does me.

I would love to see my parents grow old, with me, and I want to be with them when they die. I want to pray for their well-being in the after-life. I want to hear my child call me dad for the first time. I want to teach and watch my child grow up to me a responsible citizen. I want my parents to be able to see their grandchildren. I want to comfort my wife when she is ill or unwell and I want to prove to her that the choice she made, the choice of being my wife was worthwhile, because regardless of how smooth a marriage may be, there will always be bumps on the road. I pray that I overcome them all.

Benign as it may seem, a choice needs to be made between your own happiness and the happiness of others. An honest leader will barely have time for his family; his life dictated by the will of his nations. Everything has a price; if you think that when you chose to steal something, you chose to pay with it with your reputation and safety instead of paying it with green paper and silver coins. Benevolence is no exception.

Many people overlook kindness  as a quality, but the truth is that they become so accustomed to someone’s kindness that they simply fail to draw a distinction between their nature and their kindness. Kindness is a part of nature, I will admit that, but it is the ability of distinguish people who are truly kind from others that are not. Most people overlook this greatest quality in a human being.

And what is kindness you might ask? Is it simply giving money to the poor, supporting a friend; Yes and no. Yes in the sense that that can be something that can make a person kind, but no in the sense that simply giving something to someone is not enough to be kind.

Being kind is being someone that is tolerant to others; someone that will not follow the example of others encircling the everlasting circle of hatred. Being Kind is being tolerant of people’s opinions and also going out of the way to tell people what you think they are doing wrong. Taking the anger and spite of others and tossing them away, and bot getting angry.

People realize that people with these certain qualities have something special, but cannot put their fingers on it. And this is the super power that we humans exhibit, to be kind, to be caring, to want the better of others and to go out of our way to do so. And with this power, comes great and dire responsibilities.

I want to be a leader, I want to be a father, I want to be a son, I want to be a Husband, I want to be the best Muslim out there and I want to be the best at them all. It’s a simple dream, but that is what most things appear. But, to be all these, what will I be giving up? After all, everything has a price.

Will I keep on dreaming of this beautiful Utopia, and as time passes simply see it as a fantasy?

Or, will I truly live the dream?

Time, as with everything else can only tell.

Becoming a man

Life seems so hard at times, especially when things don’t go the way we would like them to; and this phenomenon happens more often than not. But, it is the ability to overcome these problems that allow us to come back bigger and stronger.

Rudyard Kipling, a British writer during the first world war wrote a poem called If:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

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This piece of poetry is very inspiring, because it almost flawlessly describes the intricate nature of being the perfect gentleman. There are some lines that especially capture my attention:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

So many people idolize dreaming, so many people are lost deep in thought, but the ones that can manipulate them into matter, becomes man and embodies the greater qualities of human nature. Some people take so much pride in themselves, speaking boldly and reflecting deeply, but these are people who have made thoughts their aim, they want to delude people by an illusion of intellect, but evidently, what they do is essentially simply a waste of time. I actually remember vividly, that in England in the Elizabethan era, people who were deep in thought were valued for their so called “melancholy”, supposedly caused by an excess of black bile in their system according to the science of their era.

Tolerance, is something that is so well described in this poem:

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

But what these two lines may also point to accepting different people’s opinion and showing a sense of humility.

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise

Essentially saying not to be pompous, not to be a “show-off”, and this pointing to humbleness.

And never breath a word about your loss

Acceptance; you do not complain about life. Often, I have seen people talk of their grievances, talk of what they have lost in their lives and how hard they have worked to come where they are today. The suppression of emotion is strong here, the very idea to be contempt with loss and to keep it within yourself would be a great feat to accomplish for any human being.

But, perhaps there is a bigger sentiment that Kipling tries to point to. Perhaps, its rather the journey towards gaining all that wealth and splendor, and the fact that you understand that it is not what happens in the end that you really enjoy, it’s the journey towards it.

Or perhaps, alluring to the sense that you can both live with being greatly achieved and losing everything. Clinging on to life none the less.

A truly motivating poem. I hope it inspired you like it did me.

A wonderful video on the poem